DC Rants

I'm Back - FUCK CUSTOMER SERVICE REPS!!!

2010-07-02T21:39:00.000-04:00

I bought an EVO...Sprint won't let me use it.

From: Edward Martin psu.eddie@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Jul 2, 2010 at 9:32 PM
Subject: Resolution Requested
To: Daniel.R.Hesse@sprint.com, Robert.H.Brust@sprint.com, Keith.Cowan@sprint.com, bill.white@sprint.com, Sandra.J.Price@sprint.com,Paget.L.Alves@sprint.com, Bob.johnson@sprint.com, Chris.A.Hill@sprint.com

Hello – Apologies for this long tale at the start of a holiday weekend, but I’ve been trying to work with Sprint customer service before I leave for vacation in an attempt to activate a new phone & account but I have encountered nothing but frustration and very little assistance. I purchased a Sprint EVO on Amazon.com and received it June 30^th. Since that time I have spent many hours speaking with Sprint customer service representatives. I will try to summarize my experience for you as briefly as possible:

Charged and activated the phone. It is fully functioning and able to send and receive calls and texts. I wanted to port my AT&T number to this phone so I called Sprint.
Was told the EVO I purchased was locked into another person’s account. There is no way to free this phone from this other account over the phone but a Sprint store could help if I bring my proof of purchase.
At the Sprint store, was told there was nothing they could do except sell me a phone themselves. They blamed Amazon.
Speaking with Amazon – as this is an account issue and they do not control Sprint accounts they cannot unlock the phone…but I can be sent a new phone – in 7 weeks when new stocks are expected.
Spoke with several Sprint reps, was passed on to other departments several times, none of which had any knowledge of the story which I had told multiple times before nor any idea why I was forwarded to them.
Was told Sprint could not free the phone I currently had and I would have to wait several weeks for the “system” to free it.
Sprint Activation Rep #1 - offered to provide me a comparable phone, which after applying a credit to my account, I would receive free of charge so I could start a Sprint account until the system reset the EVO in several weeks time. While running a credit check Sprint disconnected my call. I did not receive a call back even though I had provided a call back number to multiple people during this call. This was after one hour on the phone.
Called back - Sprint Activation Rep #2 told me there was no way to find a record of my previous call. She offered the Samsung Seek and the HTC Hero. I informed her I needed this phone for work and the Seek is in no way comparable so the Hero would be best. She then informed me it would cost me $79.99. I have already paid $200 for an EVO and will not pay for another phone while I have a functioning phone in my possession. I remind her of the credit promised to me. While she contacted a manager, Sprint disconnected my call for a 2^nd time. And again I did not receive a call back. This was also after one hour on the phone.
Called back - Sprint Activation Rep #3 WAS able to use my phone number and name to discover a previous call record. She checked the EVO Serial Number to find out why they could not free the phone. She informed me the phone had been returned within 30 days of an account activation and that were they to unlock the phone (i.e., the phone CAN be unlocked) the person who had canceled would be charged $200 for an early termination. After I told her of the process I have been trying to complete of getting a phone to use until the EVO was freed from this old account, I was placed on hold.
Rep #3’s manager informs me there is no way to get a phone “truly” comparable to the EVO and the only phone I can possible accept is the Seek. I reiterate the promise of an account credit to cover the cost of a comparable phone. She informs me this will not happen. She escalates my problem to her Supervisor.

The supervisor I speak with is Edward from the Sprint Escalation Management Team. He informs me there is nothing he can do. While passive aggressively suggesting he doesn’t WANT to call me a liar (referring to my retelling of the previous calls to Sprint), offers me three options:

Buy a phone from Sprint. Again I stress that I see no need to pay money when I have the brand new Sprint flagship phone in my possession.
Go to Best Buy because “they charge less for the Hero.” Again, I am not paying money for an additional new phone. This also does not resolve my EVO issue.
Buy a phone from any other retailer then return it when my EVO can be used. I’m certain your retail partners would love to hear that is the advice offered by your support team.

None of his options for a temporary phone are reasonable and the idea of buying a phone with the intent on returning it is simply poor business ethics. I inform him that all I want is the EVO unlocked. He tells me that not only is there nothing Sprint can possibly do and that he can’t even know what the issue with the account on the phone is, even though I have already been told otherwise. After telling Edward I am confused on how Sprint, the company that controls the accounts, cannot possibly remove a canceled account from a phone, he then informs me that this situation is not Sprints fault, that its Amazon’s fault and, amazingly, the fault of person that returned the phone! I tell him that his answers are disconcerting to me and that I’m frustrated and very concerned with the Sprint customer support considering all I want is to sign up with Sprint! I ask him to offer one reason why I should still want to use Sprint after experiencing this type of service. He begins to compare my current phone to the EVO….Not the answer I was looking for.

Since Edward maintains there is nothing Sprint can do with the EVO, I asked if he didn’t see a serious problem in the fact that the EVO I have is fully functioning – in the fact that Sprint knows I am not the account owner that is supposedly locked to the phone and yet they continue to keep this phone active when I can make calls on an account that is not mine. I suggested that were I still to become a Sprint customer this is completely unacceptable account security/management and truly scares me were someone to inappropriately access my account. Edward began to provide me with a response to this….but the phone disconnected AGAIN…again after one hour. To Edward’s credit - he actually did call back. I was too frustrated to take the call.

I have spent close to a full working day’s time attempting to resolve an issue that is not of my creation. I have gone through an endless cycle of ill-informed representatives, less than helpful supervisors, and countless retellings of my story, a story which has been suggested could be a lie. I have been hung up on 3 times and only been called back once. This is completely unacceptable. All I want is the phone that is currently in my possession, the Sprint EVO, to be activated to a new account in my name. If for some reason this phone really cannot be unlocked for several weeks, I absolutely need a phone that is truly comparable as I cannot function in my job without it. I will not pay for a new phone to resolve an account issue that is completely outside my realm of responsibility. Should either of these options be achievable, I would also request some insight into why Sprint should still be a carrier I would choose to switch to as I am thoroughly disturbed in both the attitude and lack of account management skills shown by your representatives.

I am at a loss.

Edward M. Martin
Arlington, VA

Tampons, Douches, and Birth Control

2009-03-06T13:36:00.005-05:00

It's dinner time. You're sitting in front of the TV watching whatever pointless mumbo jumbo is on the tube. Maybe its that American Idol drivel...maybe its that Dancing with the Stars nonsense you all seem to enjoy. You take a nice, big bite of that tender, juicy steak. Just as you start to chew..."Have you ever had that "not so fresh" feeling?" What the fuck is that? You don't see ads on TV for jock itch or swamp ass do you? HELL NO! Because guys are smart enough to know the females of the world don't want to hear that shit. But women feel the need to air their personal necessities over the airwaves for all to see.

FACT: Men hate anything related to feminine hygiene. The less we know, the better...and forget about buying the damn products in the supermarket. 99% of men that do get suckered into buying anything related to vaginal hygiene for their women ALWAYS go through the self checkout line. Damn broads...

I've provided you with a selection of the three basic categories of hygiene commercials...ENJOY!:
1. Tampons (Wow):

2. Douches (Simply disgusting):

3. Birth Control (Why are they all so happy??):

Do you think this man would ever be caught dead buying anything above? HELL NO! (though he really should look into the birth control thing):

Back in DC - Super Bowl Champs - Too Much Fiber

2009-02-02T16:26:00.005-05:00

So I've been out of town for a few, but I have finally made my way back to the lovely DC Metro area. Just in time to see the Steelers pull off another Super Bowl victory. I know Santonio won the MVP, but Big Ben made that victory possible. While I think talk of the Hall of Fame is a little premature, he's a proven winner. HERE WE GO STILLERS!

There are many posts in development at the moment, but let me leave you with this quick rant...I actually went to the supermarket today to buy some grub and TP. Since I'm not really a breakfast person, I stopped by the cereal bar isle and picked up some of the wonderfully delicious Fiber One bars. They are scrumptious, unbelievably so. Until about 20 minutes pass. Then you best be prepared to grab a good book, anchor down, and spend some of the worst moments of your life on the toilet. I seriously took one bite of these bastards today and let's all thank God I decided to pick up some Charmin. WOW.

Hawaii - Drinks and A Brief Bar Rant

2009-01-18T07:08:00.003-05:00

Good drinks are Tropical Itch and Mai Tai. But the best deals are found in the decent liquor prices. $3-$5 Grey Goose, JD, Crown, all over town. Unfortunately for the tourists, they overcharge on the tropical drinks. Considering you have plenty of douchebags that want to get into fights over ugly girls that nobody has a chance with anyways because, HELLO, she's married and with her husband, I think bars are pretty safe with their pricing schemes. "There's money to be made in a town like this."

Bet you can't name the quote...

The Weather in DC Compared to Other Places

2009-01-11T22:11:00.002-05:00

Look...I don't have a picture of the DC Metro area at the very moment...but there is absolutely NO WAY it can look like this:

Weird

2009-01-08T13:42:00.005-05:00

I was looking for a good pic for the website, so I typed "rant" into Google...this pic came up...weird...

Consultant Speak - How We Talk on a Daily Basis

2009-01-07T15:44:00.003-05:00

This is how we talk in the world of consulting. It makes me ill. Who in their right mind would talk like this?? As I think of more items, we'll come out with new lists...

Low Hanging Fruit
Touch Base
Thinking Outside of the Box
Ramp Up
Strategize
Reengineer
Mission-Critical
Holistic
Value-added
Enterprise-wide
Transformation
Framework
Organizational DNA
Lean Six Sigma
Master Black Belt
Slick Sheets

Dumb People at Whole Foods

2009-01-07T11:14:00.004-05:00

With the start of the new year, I am pretty much down on life in general. While I may genuinely be bummed out from time to time, I usually end up hopping out of the dumps and just end up getting bitter at the people and things around me. Yesterday was a day where my cup runneth over and left me with a salty taste at how utterly slow and useless people are sometimes.

I ended up waltzing on down to Whole Foods in search of some food for last night and the rest of the week. Almost immediately it hit me that people are fairly stupid. The parking lot is always a mess there. Its too small for the crowd of people they get, no doubt. But the idiots that are driving (DC Drivers...soon to be another rant...stay tuned) are lacking common sense. The line to pull in to the lot is 10 cars deep. Call me crazy, but if I'm waiting in a line of traffic, stopped to get into a silly parking lot...and there is a parking garage directly across the street from said Whole Foods parking lot...I'd hop my ass right into the garage. But, since I live across the street, I'm walking anyways.

Now comes the fun part…actually maneuvering inside the store…what the hell is it with people at Whole Foods and the desire to stop all movement the second you set foot in the store? I mean, ok...get your bearings...but MOVE YOUR ASS! There are actually people waiting to get inside while you just stand there like a lost child in a shopping mall.

After you actually get inside for the shopping, the Clarendon Whole Foods is actually quite nice. Lots of nice things to choose from…all overpriced and very unnecessary for everyday sustenance. I pick up some gnocchi to start…no problem. They actually had the regular potato gnocchi in stock so I was very happy to see this. Off I went to pick up some chicken to grill on my silly new Foreman Grill and mix in with my gnocchi…(yeah, Hulk Hogan was a genius to pass on that idea…George Foreman’s only made what, a bazillion dollars on that thing?) So I’m there waiting for people to make their choices of the pre-packaged meats…and waiting…and waiting. People…you have a fairly simple choice here. Chicken, Pork, Lamb, Beef…maybe some Venison or Buffalo…there are different cuts, you pick up a package…maybe choose between one or two and move along. What the hell is the point or productive reason to stand there and do absolutely nothing whilst 2-3 people wait for you to make up your mind about a meat you most likely already expected to buy before you walked into the store??

It is rather late and I don’t feel like really making anything…planning on saving my food purchases for later in the week anyways, so I move along to the hot bar for a quick meal tonight. Pretty simple concept, you pick your food, plop it in your container, and move along. Nope…again…another slow poke doing God knows what with his food selection…Ugh! I start to fill my container and it strikes me as silly that for a section with items priced on solely on weight, there is no actual scale to check how much you actually have. Weird…I don’t know…maybe this would be something people might find useful.

I go to checkout, which moves quickly ever since they finished remodeling and again am faced with the question I get every time without fail…”Oh this is a new bag?” No, I bought the bag 6 months ago when I paid $30 for it (with the proceeds going to feed hungry children). Why do you have to ask me every single time I shop here, probably 4-5 times a week, if I’m buying a new bag? I don’t even see where you can buy the bags before getting past the counter anyways…so is it really necessary to ask? I mean I don’t really care that much…just makes me shake my head that it happens every time. I am then truly amazed to find out I’ve filled my hot bar container with exactly 1.00 lbs of food. I think this might be some sort of record. My shopping experience is complete.

Point of the Story, you ask? There really isn’t one…just don’t drive to Whole Foods or plan on stepping up to make a purchase until you actually know what you want…have some respect for those that have actually shopped before.

Bad Dates

2009-01-06T03:05:00.026-05:00

I felt the need for another post today and couldn't think of a quick hit topic...but then after just seeing a list of potential Oscar nominations, a wave of inspiration hit me and the following flew out.

Unfortunately there is this silly thing called dating that we must all go through. Some of the time the dates go great, sparks fly, romance is kindled, etc etc. Sometimes the dates aren’t anything to write home about but aren't horrible either. But then there are the crème de la crème…the bad ones. I figured I could write down two bad dates that I’ve recently had for your reading pleasure.

Dec 2008 – This one was this past December and definitely disappointing. I had gone out with this girl once before and had a pretty decent time, we'd texted, chatted, and emailed some and I was actually looking forward to a second date. And when I found out the second date she wanted to go on was to see a special invitation-only preview of the new Frost/Nixon movie (Oscar buzz) with special guest Ron Howard and others involved in the film, I thought it pretty friggin awesome! Not so fast my friend. After a very short time I was pretty much dying for the movie to roll. I understand you’re in PR and this is a pretty impressive gig, but I have no clue what you are going on and on about nor am I interested in your stories of people I should supposedly be impressed by. Oh and a small piece of advice…brush your teeth please. I could seriously smell her breath from the next seat, and it wasn’t just stale…it was RANK. Anyways, I was more interested in texting other people than actually speaking to my date. By the time the movie (which was awesome) and the panel discussion (which was excellent) were over I needed a drink...to which she agreed. I figured I owed her that much for the sweet gig she got me into and maybe we both just needed to chill a bit…of course then I proceeded to get 45 minutes of boring “I’ve met this famous person and that famous person” nonsense. That’s cool and all, I mean I'm no stranger to fame myself...I once had former Heavyweight champ Lennox Lewis use the urinal next to me in the Philadelphia airport (true story!)…but how about we talk about something that is either thought provoking or maybe still interesting after 5 minutes. I was annoyed and tired by the end and I definitely pulled the ultimate chick move...gave her the cheek when she went in for the lips…SUCKER!

Aug/Sept 2008 – I blame myself for letting this one get out of hand. Met a girl at Liberty Tavern, a decent Clarendon bar, for some nice beverages and food. Zero sense of humor, particularly for my own brand of dry humor, which is unique to say the least. Well I decided to at least give it some time…but it quickly drains my willpower. I mean she had nothing…no interesting stories about herself, no interesting stories about somebody she knows, no interesting stories about anything, ZERO, ZIP. So blah, blah, blah, we finish up drinks and an appetizer after 3 hours (WTF?!). I’ve been watching the clock from pretty much the start, so I’m SUPER psyched to leave. As always I open my very big, very dumb mouth, simply being polite since I only assumed she was as bored as I was, and said “well that was great…care to go somewhere else or call it a night?” As soon as I even offered that up, I regretted saying it. Another hour+ of torture and boredom at another bar as I wondered who could possibly ever deal with this. Finally I resorted to lying, which I really, really hate doing even with a minor lie (Lying! I smell a future Rant topic!). I said something about having a lot of work in the morning and that I’d walk her to her car. Pretty sure she got the hint then since I picked up the pace to her car, gave her a quick peck and a thanks and hauled ass when she was in her vehicle. God it gives me shivers…I believe the final runtime on that date was about 4 hours???? SHOOT ME.

Moral of the story: I should just be more of an asshole from the start instead of waiting until people actually get to know me...

Upcoming Posts

2009-01-06T02:08:00.008-05:00

I'm not just going to post rants on this site...random thoughts, lists, and humor (which more often than not is only funny to me) will all play a role in my posts. Here are some of the goodies currently in the works:

Please suggest further topics as I can only come up with so many brilliant ideas...

Miscellaneous

A girl story or two - have a funny one from college I've been noodling that I may share, one from a pink party that is worthy of a chuckle, a halfway decent one from this past fall involving a mental girl and the nutty bet she made and plenty more beyond that
Various Lists - Good Movies, Best Pickup Lines (best meaning worst), Favorite Drinks, etc.
Might need to counter the hate-filled Ron Francis post with a Brian Trottier "good guy" post...or with my other "good guy" tale of meeting a rookie Dermontti Dawson (former Steeler center and certain Hall of Famer) at the Monroeville Mall...why not both?

Rants

DC Drivers/Traffic
Top 10 Ways to Know You Are A Federal Employee
Conference Calls
Consulting - An Insider's View

Looks Like Soccer Players Have Rants Too...

2009-01-06T00:36:00.005-05:00

Kameni is seriously quoted as saying to this fan "What's the matter...Do you want to DIE?!" Couldn't make that up.

Rant #2 - The Ron Francis Story

2009-01-05T19:25:00.004-05:00

This is a story from my childhood about a certain douchebag player, Ron Francis. When the Penguins won their Stanley Cups, he played an integral role in bringing the Cup to the city of Pittsburgh. Picked up in a late season trade, without him, things probably wouldn't have turned out the same.

After the Pens won their 2nd Cup, the team held what I believe was their 2nd annual Fan Appreciation Day at the Civic Arena. They had some of the best players on the team sit down for autograph sessions with the fans. Basically you would get in line...stand there for 2 hours...get an autograph or two...then get in line again for the next set of players coming up after the ones you just got. Might seem a little much nowadays, but back then, it was a pretty big deal.

So here I am with my cousin Bob, a complete autograph hound. I mean he used to go to the baseball games 7 hours before the opening pitch to hound players for autographs as they pulled into the stadium. Every now and again I went with him for lack of better things to do...I once even saw Jay Bell come within an RCH of running over some stupid kid that jumped in front of his car...but I digress. Fan appreciation day was just a cool little event where you could buy stuff, have fun doing random team related activities, and get these damn players' autographs.

Because Ron Francis was one of the bigger names to sign anything, the line was PACKED to get him. So Cousin Bob and I hopped into line and began the long, boring process of just staring at each other until you finally got up to get your autographs. We had everything ready to go...prepped with our own Sharpies for him to use in case their pens were retarded from all the signing they had to do...and of course we brought one item to get signed as the rules specificially stipulated "ONLY ONE ITEM PER PLAYER." Bob and I both had a card for him to sign. My card was an 1991-1992 Upper Deck (see picture). This was a great card, not only because Upper Deck was one of the premier card makers at the time, but because there it was in all its glory...the Stanley Cup.

So Bob and I proceed to wait in line...and wait...and wait. Now my cousin was round about the young adult, late high school/early college age at this time and of course was preoccupied, as all men are for the rest of their lives, about finding young, nubile women. And while you might think that this being a hockey event, it would be lacking creatures of such qualities...but, seeing as this was Pittsburgh, a town known to idolize its sports heroes, there were plenty of young ladies about and in line. So my cousin used his time wisely, being good at the art of the gab, and talked up every pretty Miss Thang he laid his eyes on. If I'm not mistaken he actually scored a couple sets of digits that day...true story.

So after 2+ hours of waiting in line...the moment of truth arrives. I believe there were two players signing for each session...I want to say the first one before Mr. Assface Francis was Paul Stanton...but don't hold me to that. The first autograph, no problem..."Thanks for your support...are you having a good time?," signs my card and on I move down to Ron Francis. I nervously whip out my Upper Deck card...anxiously awaiting having this cockbreath's autograph on this fucking piece of paper. I hand him the card...he takes it, pen at the ready...and says to me those magic words "Oh, I don't sign this." He then grabs a piece-of-shit photocopied paper of his ugly ass face scribbles his name on it and hands it to me. I stand there in disbelief that I had just been duped like this. I'm sorry dickhead...I'm a kid that loves your fucking team...a kid that just waited two fucking hours in line to get your goddamn autograph...and the best you can come up with is "I don't sign this?!?!?!?!" EAT A DICK.

Well after the event was over, I went home. Ran upstairs to my bedroom...take that dickhead's card out of my bag...get up on my desk so that I could reach the Penguins Banner Clock that I had in my room for most of my life...and proceed to impale that son of a bitch on the clock. There he remained until my parents cleaned out my room while I was at college some 8 years later or so.

So the moral to the story? Ron Francis is a dickhead.

Rose Bowl RANT!!

2009-01-01T12:06:00.009-05:00

12:06PM - Rose Bowl Celebrations have begun. Still drunk from the previous night, we persevere. Watching "Band of Brothers," which is an amazing series, showing the bravery and just plain awesomeness of our armed forces. Cobalt...in his infinite wisdom, says "I'm shitfaced and my IQ is higher than these dickeheads!"...and he opens another beer.

12:06P - We might be drunk.

7:14PM - We might be drunk.
And....we might be two douchebags. Oh Christ what happened. I don't even know. Penn State is getting STOMPED.

8:15PM - We might be drunk.
Well at least USC showed up for the game.

New Year's Celebration - Live Blog

2008-12-31T15:31:00.015-05:00

I'm celebrating New Years 2009 here from my lovely apartment in Clarendon (Arlington), VA. Together with my buddy Coble, we will be celebrating our disgruntledness in style.

3:34PM - Coble is on his way from his apartment in Alexandria. I just got out of the shower and am about ready to kick off the festivities. I've selected a lovely bottle of Woodford Reserve bourbon and have some Seagram's 7 as a back-up...oh and some wine in the fridge. Tonight's featured food will be $65 (after taxes) worth of sushi (the Kabuki platter) from Hikaru sushi, located at 2200 Wilson Blvd. Pick-up scheduled for 5pm. Stay tuned...Coble just got here. His beverage of choice? Undecided.

5:28PM - Off we went to Hikaru Sushi...the plate of sushi was unreal...and the miso soup....WOW. We crushed half of the sushi and are now on break watching two horrible, boring bowl games. Coble bought some Corona and Bud Light...I started off with some bourbon & coke.

7:37PM - We're into our 2nd hour of Dog the Bounty Hunter. The drinking pace is starting to pick up. Where are the ladies at? All you dirties that are reading this...2800 Clarendon Blvd is where its at. Holla!

8:38PM - Sushi is FINISHED!! Wow...in the words of Coble "I think that sushi was worth every penny." I highly recommend both the plain shrimp nigri and the shrimp tempura maki roll. We're starting to drink faster now. I'm about 1/4 of the way through my bourbon. We've also signed up for Ashley Madison...in search of some dirties of course. New Years party hasn't even begun yet...look out!

10:39PM - Well the night is progressing. I've decided I hate the wind. So add that to my shit list. We're gonna to start playing a hardcore session of Drunk Driver...I always seem to lose and pick face cards...but are there really any losers in this game?? We play with a special rule...run the board and the dealer chugs his entire drink.

11:23PM - Ok...drunk driver. I love this game...but I hate it as well. I'm currently on my 2nd deck, still trying to finish the fucking game. I SUCK. I've only gotten to the 2nd level of 6...and hit a face card EVERY TIME. Ugh...I will be in trouble pretty soon. On a side note, a fan posted this pic in the comment section...enjoy!

11:42PM - Finished my first drunk driver of the night...only took 3 decks...Coble must be cheating. Has to be...anyways...might be time to start the Red Bull Vodka.

11:57PM - Mimi from Queens on NBC is a special person.

12:08AM - Happy New Year!!

Rant #1 - Dudes in Porn

2008-12-30T19:09:00.003-05:00

Ok, I actually have several other topics I’d like to cover that are way above this one in terms of importance, but since another frequent rant topic, women, have dried up, I’ve been watching quite a lot of porn lately. After the hundreds of videos I’ve seen I just can’t take the dudes in the movies anymore. Primarily they need to:

1) Stop showing the guy’s ass and cock as the centerpiece of the fucking film. I mean what the hell…it’s friggin disgusting. I don’t know one guy that watches porn to see another man’s hog or hairy ass crack…well ok, maybe Coble, but still. I understand to have decent porn there will have to be a guy involved. I’m down with that. I understand you’ll see the guy’s meat, its just the cost of doing business…I can handle that that too. What I’m specifically bitching about here is the times when suddenly the hot little 18 year old Bulgarian is no longer the focus on the movie but the pathetic dude she’s banging is. When the camera starts following his junk instead of her vagina, we all lose.

2) Have the rat fuck shut up. Ok, I get that the little interviews at the start of some porns might be funny or establish the dumbass back story we seem to care about sometimes, but seriously…I don’t give a shit that this dumbass guy thinks his voice is the reason we tune in. Its pretty simple - the cute little girl saying “please don’t tell my parents that I’ve been a naughty girl.” = HOT - the dude screaming loud as shit when he’s about to blow his load in the dumb whore’s hair = NOT. I have no need to hear you growling and convulsing. I know you’re getting some serious work in there and I’m sure many times you just feel the need to say something…but you know what? The video isn’t for your pleasure and personal satisfaction. You're on my time, so SHUT IT!

3) This last one might just be a personal preference, I don’t know. But I simply must insist...stop spending so much screen time showing the dude eating the girl out. I can’t explain it, but I just can’t take it anymore. I mean a vagina is a BEAUTIFUL thing. And God, I absolutely LOVE going down on a girl…and don’t know many people besides Dustin that hate doing that to be honest. But why do I need to see some dude eating the girl out? I think maybe my primary problem with this is that when you watch the guy go down on her, you see his face. Again, I guess it just comes down to the fact that I have absolutely no desire to acknowledge that there is a guy that isn’t me in the movie. (NOTE: a girl eating another girl out is A-OK and, in fact, it is encouraged!)

Closing Thought:
I mean porn has come a long way in my time. We can access tons of it for free at the click of a mouse. But seriously (and this is a lesson learned kids)...there's always room for improvement!

A new face, a fresh start, and a preview of things to come…

2008-12-30T19:06:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the revamped DCrants.com! I am your new host, Ed. Let me tell you a little bit about myself…I’m 30 years old, live in the DC Metro area, am single, and I bitch about everything. I get annoyed pretty quickly and am rarely ever satisfied. This will be my forum for my general bitching and disgust at the world today.

You can break down my annoyance towards people and things around me into three general categories:

1. Work – A daily battle with co-workers and clients to determine who is the dumbest of them all.

2. Women – Every woman I meet has a mental condition, major personal issues, or is just plain fucking stupid. Of course the female brain makes about as much common sense as a chick pea.

3. Everything else that doesn’t fall into either of the first two categories – I hate incompetence and idiocy. Basically all but myself and a select few fall into this category.

I need to post more often.

2006-03-09T11:14:00.001-05:00

Wow I just don’t manage to post on here very much. It was a lot easier when I was on client site and had a lot of free time. It is amazing how much different the government is than the private sector. When on site with the government I could just sit around and do work whenever it came around – but I was fully billable the whole time. Now when I am at the company office I have to be doing work, and if there isn’t anything to do I can’t just sit around like I did on government site. I have to go out and find more work or something to keep me busy. That’s a pain.

I am going to be starting a new job in a few weeks though. Nothing new, same type of work that I do now just at a new company. I will have to be on client site more so maybe I’ll have time to update this thing more often.

Right now I am on a conference call. The clients are just yapping between themselves. This is easy enough, just sit here and let them talk. Ha.

This weekend is shamrockfest. It is pretty much the same thing as blocktoberfest, just in March. I have noticed that they always hold it the weekend before the actual St patty’s day. I assume they do this because if they held it on Sat the 18^th not too many people would be showing up to drink. Everyone would be too hungover.

I really would like to go to Kegs and Eggs that’s being held by DC101, but stupid friends can’t get the day off and they don’t want to call in sick. Something about thinking it looks suspicious to call in sick on St. Patty’s day. Weird. I heard people get in line at like 5am for Kegs and Eggs even though it doesn’t start till 7:30 (I think). I’m not sure that I would want to be up that damn early just to wait to get into a packed bar with overpriced drinks. (or maybe that’s just a justification to myself because I won’t be going)

Some more random shit:

Hockey games are pretty fun. (didn’t go to too many before this year)
Men shouldn’t get a perm that makes them look like a clown.
I guess women shouldn’t either.
I hate stupid clients.
I think I am going to get myself some new suits.
Taking a week off between jobs – that should be nice
What’s up with all the fat people that still eat stuff like McDonalds?
Why do girl scout cookies taste so damn good?
Why is deep fried food so good?
One would think that taxi drivers would learn that if they are a dick to their passengers then they won’t get as much of a tip…
Got the new Treo 700W. I love it.
Bought tickets for when the Yanks play the Nats. Should be good games.

That’s all I got for now.

- DCR

Vacation and Ipods...

2005-11-22T11:03:00.000-05:00

Well the spam seems to have stopped now that I added those squiggly words to the comment section. Guess the robots aren’t as smart after all.

Been at work for over 3 hours and have yet to do a single thing. I have read a bunch on FARK and played some on Wikipedia (which is like one of the best sites ever), but I haven’t gotten any work done. I’m kinda boycotting it. I don’t want to be here so I am just going to do nothing until they realize that they don’t actually need me. And then hopefully I will be able to go back to the main office rather than being on site. Plus, its like Friday anyway. I am headed out of town tonight for thanksgiving break. Taking Wednesday and Friday off for a 5 day weekend. That should be nice. I am headed south for the break, hopefully it will be warmer down there – checked the forecast and it looked like only in the 60’s. booooooo.

Lately I keep reading about the Ipod thefts on the Metro… one piece of advice given was to not use the standard white head phones… Do the people stealing these only go after iPods? One would think that any mp3 player would do. Yeah, the iPods are like the big thing or whatever, but are thieves really that picky? I don’t have an iPod… I just have a normal mp3 player. It wasn’t cheap when I got it, you could have gotten some iPods for cheaper. Wouldn’t a thief want one like mine? I don’t think that just using non-white headphones is going to stop anyone from getting robbed. If someone wants my mp3 player badly enough, I guess they are going to get it. Whatever though, I’d rather someone take that than my cell phone or PDA. All they would get from taking my mp3 player is some music, but I would feel violated if they got something with peoples phone numbers and addresses… oh man that would suck.

That’s all I got for now.
-DCR

Holy Spam

2005-11-09T11:56:00.000-05:00

wow. I haven't had the chance to post in a while. I come back and like every post has spam comments. awesome... Do people actually think that these comments are real and that this person just happens to have a link that they may enjoy? What the hell? At least I know the spam robots are reading this. ha. Don't have much time to type anything now. I really gotta work on posting more. I will do that tomorrow.

-DCR

Work Internet: I hate you.

2005-10-20T23:03:00.000-04:00

So just started at a new fed agency... they have even more rules than the last. At this new one I can't even check e-mail. Nothing besides my gov account works. blah. I would like to be able to at least check my company email. Oh no, can't do that. I just hate the damn gov rules. Whatever, while I am working there (which shouldn't be for more than a week longer) I will follow their rules. Even though I am depressed everyday when I wake up and realize I have to go to work. At least this weekend I am going on vacation till Monday night. So I don't have to work on Monday. And then Tues I have to give training to the rest of my office because I am the only one that knows how to use this retarded program. Its so easy, but its such a pain to use that nobody ever bothers to learn it. But having people in the company other than me knowing how to use it -- that would be a great selling point and would help us win some more contracts. Guess I'm the lucky one who gets to teach everyone... whatever. At least I won't have to do all the work with the program once I teach someone else. So 3 days next week at the job I hate. I can deal with that.

OK enough complaining for tonight. Bed time.

- DCR

A month later...

2005-10-19T18:44:00.001-04:00

Holy it’s been a while since I have posted on here. I guess I’ve been really busy at work, and I don’t really think to post when I am home. I’m going to try and start posting more… Here are some random thoughts:

I wonder what happened to the homeless lady on the corner? There used to be this homeless lady that was always on the corner down the street from me, she hasn’t been out there in a while. Wonder if she found a better home.
Went to Clarendon day this past weekend – good times. Like blocktoberfest but better. Less people, but still fun stuff and beer.
Blocktoberfest was a good time. It’s a fun challenge to see how many girls numbers you can get. Got 5, but only called one back. Whatever.
Whats up with the 4 car trains on the metro during rush hour? Ugh, I hate being so squished in that I can’t move.
Do I look like I know where I am going? About twice a week I get stopped and someone asks for directions. Chances are I have no idea how to get there. Plus I have my headphones on, these people actually stop the person listening to music, and not the other people who don’t have headphones on… oh well, I’m sure I’ve given someone the wrong directions
3 times this past month there have been lots of cops outside my apartment. Once was for a murder. The guy died across the street from me. The other 2 I don’t know what they were for, but lots of cops and the street was closed one night.
I love Peapod. I order groceries online during work, they deliver them to your door the next day. Can’t beat that.
I’m not too happy that its getting dark early now. Yeah, I know its gonna happen, but doesn’t mean I have to like it. I think when I’m rich I’m going to switch hemispheres in the winter and summer.
Bought a Washington post the other day at a news stand. Paid with 50 cents. Got back 13 cents. I didn’t think there was tax on the news paper. Didn’t notice it till I got home though. I just figured the lady was being a bitch and giving me change in pennies cause she knows I hate them. Ha.
I have too much cereal. Whenever it goes on sale at CVS I buy it. But I don’t eat it as fast as I buy it. I need to stop.
I shop at CVS too much in general.
LOST is the best show on TV right now.
Commander in Chief is pretty good too.
Kinda cool to see things in DC on TV. (been here only a year)
Saw a trivia question the other day asking where the Pentagon was located. VA, duh!
Powerball is $340 million now, shoulda played today. I would retire if I won. I wonder who wouldn’t retire if they won that much? Hell, I would retire if I won 10 million.

Craigslis... Again

2005-09-16T20:16:00.000-04:00

OK, so I was giving away something on Craigslist the other day and I got a whole bunch of e-mails. This didn't surprise me cause hey, its free. who doesn't want free stuff. I offered to meet people downtown if they wanted or they would have to come pick it up in Crystal City. Some people said they wanted it and then backed out for some reason or another. But some of these people were askin me to like meet them 20-30 min from my place. I'm like I'm not gonna drive an hour out of my way to give you something FREE. I hate to be a dick to people that don't deserve it but these people are asking me to take a lot of my time to give them something for free. The way I look at it is that I am doing them a favor by offering something for them that they can use. I could sell it, I could throw it out. But no, I am trying to help someone else out and give them something that I don't need anymore. Would it be that hard for them to come meet me in downtown. I might add that downtown is totally out of my way home, but its not too far out of my way, if its close to the metro its cool. I don't mind going a few min out of my way during my commute, but to drive like 40 min isn't worth it to me - id rahter throw it out. ok anyway thats all I got.

If someone is giving something out for free on Craigslist don't expect them to do you a favor to deliever it to you. They are already doing you a favor by giving it out for free.

Im kinda drunk so this post prob makes no sense and has a lot of typos.

-DCR

Bathroom Etiquette

2005-09-13T10:08:00.000-04:00

I read a post this morning about talking on the phone while in the bathroom and it got me thinking about all the things that people do in the bathroom that bother me.

- People who talk to you. It's one thing to have a conversation going when you walk into the bathroom and just keep talking a little, but the people who come in and start talking to you while you're pissing... just don't do that.

- The people who can't seem to shut the water all the way off. Its not difficult, turn the knob till its off.

- Leaving paper towels on the floor. If one falls, pick it up. Don't cause your laziness to make the bathroom look like shit for everyone else.

- How hard is it to stand close enough to the toilet so you don't piss on the floor?

- What’s up with the people who just rinse their hands off and don't use soap? Are you trying to trick people into thinking you wash your hands? At least the people who walk right out aren't faking anything.

- OK, I realize that you may not like your job, but don't leave for 20 min everyday and go sit on the toilet and read. (A guy I used to work with did this)

- When there are other options, don’t use the urinal next to someone. That’s like off limits.

- Don't touch someone while they are peeing. (this hasn't happened to me, but I'm sure someone has done it)

- When you finish reading your paper after you shit please take it with you or throw it out. We don't need your newspaper making the bathroom messy.

- FLUSH. Especially when you take a shit. Its not tough, and its fuckin gross not to.

- Don't talk to the person next to you in the stall, and don't carry on conversations with people outside the stall when you're takin a shit.

- Please stop making those weird noises. Gross.

-DCR

Random Blog

2005-09-12T15:43:00.000-04:00

I found this blog today on DCblogs.com. It is one of the best and funniest blogs I have ever read. It's tough to read it at work and not laugh my ass off, but that might be a dead giveaway that I',m not doing work considering the shit that I have to do today isn't funny at all... I think I'll have it all read by the end of the day. Whoever writes it is one funny fucker.

Craigslist

2005-09-09T13:25:00.000-04:00

I recently discovered the Rants and Raves section on Craigslist. It is one of the best time wasters I have come accross. Its almost better than FARK for wasting time. OK thats all I have for today.

Addition To My Apartment

2005-09-08T11:33:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid I always remember wanting a pool table, but never really had a room big enough for it. Or I guess enough money to get one either… Just recently me and my roommates rearranged the apartment and found that we had a lot of free space in our living room and we thought it would be a good idea to get a pool table. Within a week, after lots of browsing on Craigslist, we had a pool table. Its pretty nice one, 3 piece slate, about 7 ft long. The only problem with it is that 3 of the bumpers are kinda dead – Which isn’t a big deal because it’s not all that expensive to replace them. We’re having a “party” towards the end of September so we’ll need to get them replaced before then, but they don’t hurt play that much for now.

I have to say though that even after having the table for a few weeks – I still haven’t gotten any better. I know how to play, where I need to hit the balls and all that, I just can’t seem to carry it out. That’s ok because I can play for free whenever I want. Someday I’ll get better…

This past weekend me and one of my roommates played about 12 games of 9-ball and then decided to go out to the bars. Got to this one place which has a bunch of pool tables – sure enough, we played pool. Not really sure what the point of going out was if we just did the same thing that we could have done at home. For free. I guess that playing new people and just hanging out in a bar is more fun that sitting home playing pool. It’s just so damn expensive to go out. $3 for a pint of Miller Light, while not awful, isn’t a great price considering you can get a case for $15. Just the price of going out I guess.

One of my favorite places to go out is this place in Adams Morgan called Asulym. It’s a really laid back place (no dress code at all). But the best part of it is that you can go on Sat nights at 5 and get a pint of High Life for 25 cents. It goes up 50 cents every hour ‘till it reaches $3. But by the time that happens I’m usually drunk so I don’t need much more. I enjoy going there to pregame and then heading somewhere else. It’s like the only place I know of that its cheaper to go out and drink than it is to stay at home.

On a totally unrelated note – the stores around me seem to have stopped carrying Coke Zero. This is kinda disappointing to me because now I’ve gotta either drink Diet Coke or go around and find a store that sells my Coke Zero. I think I’ll find a store that sells it, cause Diet Coke tastes bad.

-DCR

Best Of Craigslist

2005-08-29T21:37:00.000-04:00

I haven't had any time to post lately. But here is something I read on Craigslist today. It was on the best of Craigslist. There is some funny stuff on there.

-DCR

Just Trying To Read My Book

2005-08-19T15:11:00.000-04:00

Alright, well I'm not at work today so therefore I don't have much time to write anything. Weird how that works - I'm not at work and I have less time. It's fine though because this post here from Blackberry Debutantes pretty much sums up what I was going to post anyway.

I was on my way home two days ago and I get the Metro Driver mentioned in the Blackberry Debutantes post. This wasn't the first time I had him as a driver. It was the 3rd. Now, the first time was OK, kinda interesting. The second time it was like OK, OK, we get the point. Now please shut up and let me read my book. And this last time - Oh man, I like to just enjoy my metro ride home and read my book. But I can't with this guy yapping the whole time. I feel bad for the people who have a long ride. Mine is only about 12 minutes so its not too bad.

I'm just glad I don't get him everyday. I used to get the same driver every day when I rode the yellow line, but now that i ride the blue line to work its a different person all the time. Even though I catch train at the same time every morning, and pretty much the same train on the way home too.

Alright, that’s enough for today. I’m going to write something where I don’t complain the whole time on Monday…

-DCR

Next Stop… Ballston

2005-08-18T14:50:00.000-04:00

So I’m in a meeting today and we start discussing a workshop that is going to be held at some office right off the Ballston metro stop. OK, that’s fine. Then this guy I work with takes over and hands out the directions to the office building and begins to explain where it is. I read over the directions he handed out and immediately get annoyed at him for giving out stupid ass directions. This is what his directions said:

“Metrorail – Orange Line

Travel to Ballston-MU on the Orange Line (towards Vienna-Fairfax not New Carrollton)

If you travel on a different Metro Line, go to Metro Center, (bottom level) and get on the Orange Line to Vienna.”

There was more after this – the direction to the office blah blah blah – but those don’t matter. What pissed me off is the parts above.

Let me break it down line by line:

“Metrorail – Orange Line”

OK this line isn’t too bad, but we’re not idiots. We CAN read, and we know what color orange is. You didn’t need to color code the word. Thanks.

“Travel to Ballston-MU on the Orange Line (towards Vienna-Fairfax not New Carrollton)”

Travel to Ballston is fine. Orange Line is fine (except for the damn color coding again). Towards Vienna… uh… what if I’m coming from West Falls Church? Dunn Loring? Do I still go towards Vienna?

I realize that most everyone coming to this workshop lives in or around DC and knows their way around the Metro system. They’re not the people I’m worried about. It’s the few people that are coming from different parts of the country for this. And it wouldn’t be such a big deal, except for the fact that he really stressed the “not New Carrollton” (bold and italics).

OK, so I travel in the morning of the workshop. Land in Dulles, take the Washington Flyer to West Falls Church, and head towards Vienna. Um. End of the line, no Ballston along the way. Yeah, good directions. Idiot.

“If you travel on a different Metro Line, go to Metro Center, (bottom level) and get on the Orange Line to Vienna.”

I live in Crystal City and therefore will be riding the Blue Line and transferring at Rosslyn. But if I were to follow his directions I would have to ride all the way back to Metro Center and then out on the Orange Line.

What if I was coming in on the Yellow Line? Green Line? What the hell, neither of these go to Metro Center. Now I’m lost. If you’re going to give directions, either give simple ones:

“Take the Orange Line to Ballston. Walk to building blah blah blah.”

Or give detailed ones, from each line, at different points on the line. Don’t do this half very specific “(towards Vienna-Fairfax not New Carrollton)” shit and half leaving out ways to get there from 2 lines. Especially when the information you give is wrong. Holy shit you’re stupid.

-DCR

Coke Zero - So Good

2005-08-17T15:30:00.000-04:00

About 2 months ago or so I saw this new Coke in the store. Coke Zero. Had never seen this before so naturally my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to check it out. Turns out it’s basically Diet Coke that tastes good. Now don’t get me wrong, Diet Coke is perfectly drinkable but it just doesn’t have as much flavor as regular Coke. This new Coke Zero stuff is 0 calories and tastes like regular Coke. I can’t complain about that.

It’s funny though, because most Diet Coke drinkers that I have talked to that have tried Coke Zero say that they don’t like it because it’s too sweet. It’s like they drink Diet Coke because of the flavor and not the lack of calories. The lack of calories was always my main reason for drinking Diet Coke over regular Coke. I know, I know, people say it’s just as bad to drink Diet Coke (and now Coke Zero) as it is to drink regular Coke because of all the artificial stuff in it. This doesn’t make too much sense to me and for now I’ll choose to stick with the 0 calorie drinks.

The only problem I have found with the Coke Zero is that now whenever I go somewhere that doesn’t have it, I have to get regular Coke because I am no longer used to drinking the less sweet Diet Coke. If you drink Diet Coke for long enough you eventually become used to the flavor – or should I say lack of flavor. But if you switch off Diet Coke and go back to regular Coke you need to go through the whole process of getting used to Diet Coke again. Well, at least I do. And since I don’t plan on switching back to Diet Coke anytime soon I would rather not drink it anymore. Even if it is only a few times a week. Right now I'll stick to my 2 (OK, 3 if I'm really tired) Coke Zeros a day and enjoy the flavor.

Yeah I just realized this sounds like an ad for Coke. Whoops.

-DCR

Stand To The Right

2005-08-16T14:12:00.000-04:00

Another day and another thing to complain about. I don’t think it ever ends… One thing that drives me nuts every. single. day. is the people who ride the damn escalators. I just don’t understand this. Have so many people in DC become this lazy that they can’t walk up the stairs. I mean seriously, it’s not like most of these are very long. So many people ride up the single flights just getting up to the fare gates above track level.

Yeah, yeah, I can kinda understand the people that ride up the long ones like Adams Morgan, or Rosslyn. But the people who ride AND insist on standing next to their friend – oh man, that drives me nuts. Get out of the way. Just because you are lazy doesn’t mean everyone behind you is. Some of us walk up all escalators, even the long ones.

The other day I got off at Adams Morgan, and only 2 escalators were running. The middle one was stopped. My friend and I look up and see that nobody is moving on the right one. Everyone is just standing there riding it. Its not a fuckin ride, it’s a way to get to the top faster. Talk about a serious waste of 5 minutes of time. Standing there and riding to the top when your legs would work perfectly fine to walk you up faster.

Yeah, so my friend and I decided we weren’t going to ride the whole way, and we certainly wouldn’t be able to make our way through all the people. So we walked up the middle one – the one that wasn’t moving. Made it up a hell of a lot faster then if we had ridden it. So what if it makes you a little tired and out of breath. It’s not the end of the world, a little exercise would probably help a lot of you people anyway.

The people that ride the escalators really don’t bother me all that much – as long as they stand to the right. I guess if you want to be lazy that’s your business. What bothers me the most is the damn tourists (and residents, but mostly tourists) that not only ride, but don’t even move when you come up behind them and politely say “excuse me”. They turn around and look at you like you have 3 heads. I can just imagine what they are thinking; “What the hell is this? This person wants to walk up these stairs? That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard of.”

If you insist on being lazy then fine, whatever. Just GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY. It still bothers me that you are riding the escalator, but at least you’re not preventing me from walking up it.

The thing that doesn’t bother me as much as it boggles my mind is all the people who ride DOWN the escalators. Holy hell, it’s going down. It doesn’t require much energy at all. If you are seriously that lazy or out of shape that you can’t ride down the escalator then you probably need to see a doctor, because there must be something else wrong with you. Pretty soon you people are going to be asking for moving walkways between escalators and the trains so that you don’t have to walk at all. You’re probably the same people who ride the bus for 4 blocks. Almost every time it’s faster to walk those short distances than it is to get on a bus and sit in traffic. But whatever, it’s your money and time that you’re wasting. At least you’re not on the sidewalk walking slow in front of me and getting in the way.

Wow that’s a lot of bitching. HA.

-DCR

Sour Milk

2005-08-15T15:09:00.000-04:00

So the other day I go into the kitchen at work and the fridge in there is making this awful noise, it sounded like there was a sick dog caught in it somewhere growling while throwing up. I thought it was going to die. After a few min this stopped and it appeared to be back to normal.

But then a few days later I notice that my milk is very warm in the morning and my soda is no longer ice cold. I figure someone must have not closed the door all the way, so I look for something blocking it from closing… nothing. It closed fine and closed every time. OK, well there are a lot of people that use the fridge, it must just be that it’s opened too much and it doesn’t get a chance to cool down. I found this to be wrong too when I checked the temperature first thing in the morning – it was still way warm. I’m one of the first people into the office so I know it hadn’t been opened more than 2 or 3 times before I checked it.

So the next day I bring in a thermometer to see for sure if the fridge was actually warm or if I was just imagining things. Sure enough – the temp in the fridge ranged from 45 F to 50 F. WAY too warm to keep anything that you don’t want to spoil. Oh good, now I get to throw my milk out.

OK fine no big deal, I’ll use the fridge in the kitchen down the hall. They won’t mind. So I use that one for a few days, and then this morning I go get my milk out of it and its like that fridge was too warm too. My milk was rotten. I had 3 more days before the sell by date, so I don’t think it was too old. I guess leaving it over the weekend in a fridge that apparently is too warm did it in. I wonder what the hell is going on with the fridges in this place – none of them seem to work. Grrrrr.

I can deal with warmish soda, I just throw it in the freezer – which works great (-10F) I might add – a little while before I want to drink one. But I can’t exactly freeze the milk, and it goes rotten if I leave it in the fridge at 50 F. Kinda annoying.

There isn’t anything that I can do about it either. I talked to a guy that works in my hall, and he said if we were able to get a replacement it would take months to get it anyway. And well, I leave this office in a few weeks so it’s not worth it anyway. Nobody else seems to care that their food goes bad, they just don’t store anything in there, but they haven’t tried to do anything about it. Oh well, hopefully someone important will put something in the fridge and it will go bad, and they’ll get something done about it. I guess until then I’ll just bring milk with me everyday or something… oh well.

-DCR

Pennies Pennies Everywhere...

2005-08-12T14:00:00.000-04:00

Alright. Well I guess its time to finally start writing on this thing. I don’t have anything useful to share, but I feel like having a place to just put down random thoughts and to complain about things that I don’t like or that bother me.

Today I open my desk drawer to put some change in that I got at breakfast, and I look at my penny stash. Holy, I have too many pennies. I never spend them. I just put them in the drawer to sit there and collect until I have enough and then I guess I’ll cash them in or something.

To me, pennies are worthless. Who wants to carry around a pocket full of change to equal the same as one piece or light, small paper? I sure as hell don’t. Yeah yeah, I know there are a lot of people that like to get back even change when they buy something, and thus use the pennies for that. But the whole reason that you would want to have the pennies is to use them… so that you don’t end up with pennies in your change.

So why not just eliminate pennies all together and just have the nickel or hell, even the dime or quarter as our smallest detonation of money? Seriously – you can’t buy shit for a penny. They probably cost more to ship then they are worth. If I see one on the ground I don’t even bother to pick it up because it’s just not worth it.

I guess I’m biased because I don’t like change in general. There isn’t much that you can get for less than a dollar so why carry change? So you can use change when you buy something so that you don’t get change back… I see a pattern here. Yeah it would be impossible to get rid of change. Many things would be more expensive. But just getting rid of the penny wouldn’t cause prices to change a lot. Some prices would go up, some would go down. Leaving the average price of things unchanged. Plus the advantages of not having to waste time dealing with pennies would possibly be a benefit to everyone.

Also, it would get rid of all those damn $19.99 things you see on TV. Now, instead, they would be $19.95. See, right there is a $.04 savings! Things are looking better already. They know they can’t make it $20.00. It just doesn’t have the same look/appeal to it.

OK. Well I guess that’s it for now about pennies. I’ll post something useful some other time.

-DCR

First Post

2005-08-04T14:57:00.000-04:00

Just some random thoughts and rants about my time here in DC.