New Year's Celebration - Live Blog

I'm celebrating New Years 2009 here from my lovely apartment in Clarendon (Arlington), VA. Together with my buddy Coble, we will be celebrating our disgruntledness in style.

3:34PM - Coble is on his way from his apartment in Alexandria. I just got out of the shower and am about ready to kick off the festivities. I've selected a lovely bottle of Woodford Reserve bourbon and have some Seagram's 7 as a back-up...oh and some wine in the fridge. Tonight's featured food will be $65 (after taxes) worth of sushi (the Kabuki platter) from Hikaru sushi, located at 2200 Wilson Blvd. Pick-up scheduled for 5pm. Stay tuned...Coble just got here. His beverage of choice? Undecided.

5:28PM - Off we went to Hikaru Sushi...the plate of sushi was unreal...and the miso soup....WOW. We crushed half of the sushi and are now on break watching two horrible, boring bowl games. Coble bought some Corona and Bud Light...I started off with some bourbon & coke.

7:37PM - We're into our 2nd hour of Dog the Bounty Hunter. The drinking pace is starting to pick up. Where are the ladies at? All you dirties that are reading this...2800 Clarendon Blvd is where its at. Holla!

8:38PM - Sushi is FINISHED!! Wow...in the words of Coble "I think that sushi was worth every penny." I highly recommend both the plain shrimp nigri and the shrimp tempura maki roll. We're starting to drink faster now. I'm about 1/4 of the way through my bourbon. We've also signed up for Ashley Madison...in search of some dirties of course. New Years party hasn't even begun yet...look out!

10:39PM - Well the night is progressing. I've decided I hate the wind. So add that to my shit list. We're gonna to start playing a hardcore session of Drunk Driver...I always seem to lose and pick face cards...but are there really any losers in this game?? We play with a special rule...run the board and the dealer chugs his entire drink.

11:23PM - Ok...drunk driver. I love this game...but I hate it as well. I'm currently on my 2nd deck, still trying to finish the fucking game. I SUCK. I've only gotten to the 2nd level of 6...and hit a face card EVERY TIME. Ugh...I will be in trouble pretty soon. On a side note, a fan posted this pic in the comment section...enjoy!

11:42PM - Finished my first drunk driver of the night...only took 3 decks...Coble must be cheating. Has to be...anyways...might be time to start the Red Bull Vodka.

11:57PM - Mimi from Queens on NBC is a special person.

12:08AM - Happy New Year!!

Rant #1 - Dudes in Porn

Ok, I actually have several other topics I’d like to cover that are way above this one in terms of importance, but since another frequent rant topic, women, have dried up, I’ve been watching quite a lot of porn lately. After the hundreds of videos I’ve seen I just can’t take the dudes in the movies anymore. Primarily they need to:

1) Stop showing the guy’s ass and cock as the centerpiece of the fucking film. I mean what the hell…it’s friggin disgusting. I don’t know one guy that watches porn to see another man’s hog or hairy ass crack…well ok, maybe Coble, but still. I understand to have decent porn there will have to be a guy involved. I’m down with that. I understand you’ll see the guy’s meat, its just the cost of doing business…I can handle that that too. What I’m specifically bitching about here is the times when suddenly the hot little 18 year old Bulgarian is no longer the focus on the movie but the pathetic dude she’s banging is. When the camera starts following his junk instead of her vagina, we all lose.

2) Have the rat fuck shut up. Ok, I get that the little interviews at the start of some porns might be funny or establish the dumbass back story we seem to care about sometimes, but seriously…I don’t give a shit that this dumbass guy thinks his voice is the reason we tune in. Its pretty simple - the cute little girl saying “please don’t tell my parents that I’ve been a naughty girl.” = HOT - the dude screaming loud as shit when he’s about to blow his load in the dumb whore’s hair = NOT. I have no need to hear you growling and convulsing. I know you’re getting some serious work in there and I’m sure many times you just feel the need to say something…but you know what? The video isn’t for your pleasure and personal satisfaction. You're on my time, so SHUT IT!

3) This last one might just be a personal preference, I don’t know. But I simply must insist...stop spending so much screen time showing the dude eating the girl out. I can’t explain it, but I just can’t take it anymore. I mean a vagina is a BEAUTIFUL thing. And God, I absolutely LOVE going down on a girl…and don’t know many people besides Dustin that hate doing that to be honest. But why do I need to see some dude eating the girl out? I think maybe my primary problem with this is that when you watch the guy go down on her, you see his face. Again, I guess it just comes down to the fact that I have absolutely no desire to acknowledge that there is a guy that isn’t me in the movie. (NOTE: a girl eating another girl out is A-OK and, in fact, it is encouraged!)

Closing Thought:
I mean porn has come a long way in my time. We can access tons of it for free at the click of a mouse. But seriously (and this is a lesson learned kids)...there's always room for improvement!

A new face, a fresh start, and a preview of things to come…

Welcome to the revamped DCrants.com! I am your new host, Ed. Let me tell you a little bit about myself…I’m 30 years old, live in the DC Metro area, am single, and I bitch about everything. I get annoyed pretty quickly and am rarely ever satisfied. This will be my forum for my general bitching and disgust at the world today.

You can break down my annoyance towards people and things around me into three general categories:

1. Work – A daily battle with co-workers and clients to determine who is the dumbest of them all.

2. Women – Every woman I meet has a mental condition, major personal issues, or is just plain fucking stupid. Of course the female brain makes about as much common sense as a chick pea.

3. Everything else that doesn’t fall into either of the first two categories – I hate incompetence and idiocy. Basically all but myself and a select few fall into this category.