I'm Back - FUCK CUSTOMER SERVICE REPS!!!

I bought an EVO...Sprint won't let me use it.

From: Edward Martin psu.eddie@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Jul 2, 2010 at 9:32 PM
Subject: Resolution Requested
To: Daniel.R.Hesse@sprint.com, Robert.H.Brust@sprint.com, Keith.Cowan@sprint.com, bill.white@sprint.com, Sandra.J.Price@sprint.com,Paget.L.Alves@sprint.com, Bob.johnson@sprint.com, Chris.A.Hill@sprint.com

Hello – Apologies for this long tale at the start of a holiday weekend, but I’ve been trying to work with Sprint customer service before I leave for vacation in an attempt to activate a new phone & account but I have encountered nothing but frustration and very little assistance. I purchased a Sprint EVO on Amazon.com and received it June 30^th. Since that time I have spent many hours speaking with Sprint customer service representatives. I will try to summarize my experience for you as briefly as possible:

• Charged and activated the phone. It is fully functioning and able to send and receive calls and texts. I wanted to port my AT&T number to this phone so I called Sprint.
• Was told the EVO I purchased was locked into another person’s account. There is no way to free this phone from this other account over the phone but a Sprint store could help if I bring my proof of purchase.
• At the Sprint store, was told there was nothing they could do except sell me a phone themselves. They blamed Amazon.
• Speaking with Amazon – as this is an account issue and they do not control Sprint accounts they cannot unlock the phone…but I can be sent a new phone – in 7 weeks when new stocks are expected.
• Spoke with several Sprint reps, was passed on to other departments several times, none of which had any knowledge of the story which I had told multiple times before nor any idea why I was forwarded to them.
• Was told Sprint could not free the phone I currently had and I would have to wait several weeks for the “system” to free it.
• Sprint Activation Rep #1 - offered to provide me a comparable phone, which after applying a credit to my account, I would receive free of charge so I could start a Sprint account until the system reset the EVO in several weeks time. While running a credit check Sprint disconnected my call. I did not receive a call back even though I had provided a call back number to multiple people during this call. This was after one hour on the phone.
• Called back - Sprint Activation Rep #2 told me there was no way to find a record of my previous call. She offered the Samsung Seek and the HTC Hero. I informed her I needed this phone for work and the Seek is in no way comparable so the Hero would be best. She then informed me it would cost me $79.99. I have already paid $200 for an EVO and will not pay for another phone while I have a functioning phone in my possession. I remind her of the credit promised to me. While she contacted a manager, Sprint disconnected my call for a 2^nd time. And again I did not receive a call back. This was also after one hour on the phone.
• Called back - Sprint Activation Rep #3 WAS able to use my phone number and name to discover a previous call record. She checked the EVO Serial Number to find out why they could not free the phone. She informed me the phone had been returned within 30 days of an account activation and that were they to unlock the phone (i.e., the phone CAN be unlocked) the person who had canceled would be charged $200 for an early termination. After I told her of the process I have been trying to complete of getting a phone to use until the EVO was freed from this old account, I was placed on hold.
• Rep #3’s manager informs me there is no way to get a phone “truly” comparable to the EVO and the only phone I can possible accept is the Seek. I reiterate the promise of an account credit to cover the cost of a comparable phone. She informs me this will not happen. She escalates my problem to her Supervisor.

The supervisor I speak with is Edward from the Sprint Escalation Management Team. He informs me there is nothing he can do. While passive aggressively suggesting he doesn’t WANT to call me a liar (referring to my retelling of the previous calls to Sprint), offers me three options:

1. Buy a phone from Sprint. Again I stress that I see no need to pay money when I have the brand new Sprint flagship phone in my possession.
2. Go to Best Buy because “they charge less for the Hero.” Again, I am not paying money for an additional new phone. This also does not resolve my EVO issue.
3. Buy a phone from any other retailer then return it when my EVO can be used. I’m certain your retail partners would love to hear that is the advice offered by your support team.

None of his options for a temporary phone are reasonable and the idea of buying a phone with the intent on returning it is simply poor business ethics. I inform him that all I want is the EVO unlocked. He tells me that not only is there nothing Sprint can possibly do and that he can’t even know what the issue with the account on the phone is, even though I have already been told otherwise. After telling Edward I am confused on how Sprint, the company that controls the accounts, cannot possibly remove a canceled account from a phone, he then informs me that this situation is not Sprints fault, that its Amazon’s fault and, amazingly, the fault of person that returned the phone! I tell him that his answers are disconcerting to me and that I’m frustrated and very concerned with the Sprint customer support considering all I want is to sign up with Sprint! I ask him to offer one reason why I should still want to use Sprint after experiencing this type of service. He begins to compare my current phone to the EVO….Not the answer I was looking for.

Since Edward maintains there is nothing Sprint can do with the EVO, I asked if he didn’t see a serious problem in the fact that the EVO I have is fully functioning – in the fact that Sprint knows I am not the account owner that is supposedly locked to the phone and yet they continue to keep this phone active when I can make calls on an account that is not mine. I suggested that were I still to become a Sprint customer this is completely unacceptable account security/management and truly scares me were someone to inappropriately access my account. Edward began to provide me with a response to this….but the phone disconnected AGAIN…again after one hour. To Edward’s credit - he actually did call back. I was too frustrated to take the call.

I have spent close to a full working day’s time attempting to resolve an issue that is not of my creation. I have gone through an endless cycle of ill-informed representatives, less than helpful supervisors, and countless retellings of my story, a story which has been suggested could be a lie. I have been hung up on 3 times and only been called back once. This is completely unacceptable. All I want is the phone that is currently in my possession, the Sprint EVO, to be activated to a new account in my name. If for some reason this phone really cannot be unlocked for several weeks, I absolutely need a phone that is truly comparable as I cannot function in my job without it. I will not pay for a new phone to resolve an account issue that is completely outside my realm of responsibility. Should either of these options be achievable, I would also request some insight into why Sprint should still be a carrier I would choose to switch to as I am thoroughly disturbed in both the attitude and lack of account management skills shown by your representatives.

I am at a loss.

Edward M. Martin
Arlington, VA

Tampons, Douches, and Birth Control

It's dinner time. You're sitting in front of the TV watching whatever pointless mumbo jumbo is on the tube. Maybe its that American Idol drivel...maybe its that Dancing with the Stars nonsense you all seem to enjoy. You take a nice, big bite of that tender, juicy steak. Just as you start to chew..."Have you ever had that "not so fresh" feeling?" What the fuck is that? You don't see ads on TV for jock itch or swamp ass do you? HELL NO! Because guys are smart enough to know the females of the world don't want to hear that shit. But women feel the need to air their personal necessities over the airwaves for all to see.

FACT: Men hate anything related to feminine hygiene. The less we know, the better...and forget about buying the damn products in the supermarket. 99% of men that do get suckered into buying anything related to vaginal hygiene for their women ALWAYS go through the self checkout line. Damn broads...

I've provided you with a selection of the three basic categories of hygiene commercials...ENJOY!:
1. Tampons (Wow):


2. Douches (Simply disgusting):


3. Birth Control (Why are they all so happy??):

Do you think this man would ever be caught dead buying anything above? HELL NO! (though he really should look into the birth control thing):

Back in DC - Super Bowl Champs - Too Much Fiber

So I've been out of town for a few, but I have finally made my way back to the lovely DC Metro area. Just in time to see the Steelers pull off another Super Bowl victory. I know Santonio won the MVP, but Big Ben made that victory possible. While I think talk of the Hall of Fame is a little premature, he's a proven winner. HERE WE GO STILLERS!

There are many posts in development at the moment, but let me leave you with this quick rant...I actually went to the supermarket today to buy some grub and TP. Since I'm not really a breakfast person, I stopped by the cereal bar isle and picked up some of the wonderfully delicious Fiber One bars. They are scrumptious, unbelievably so. Until about 20 minutes pass. Then you best be prepared to grab a good book, anchor down, and spend some of the worst moments of your life on the toilet. I seriously took one bite of these bastards today and let's all thank God I decided to pick up some Charmin. WOW.

Hawaii - Drinks and A Brief Bar Rant

Good drinks are Tropical Itch and Mai Tai. But the best deals are found in the decent liquor prices. $3-$5 Grey Goose, JD, Crown, all over town. Unfortunately for the tourists, they overcharge on the tropical drinks. Considering you have plenty of douchebags that want to get into fights over ugly girls that nobody has a chance with anyways because, HELLO, she's married and with her husband, I think bars are pretty safe with their pricing schemes. "There's money to be made in a town like this."

Bet you can't name the quote...

The Weather in DC Compared to Other Places

Look...I don't have a picture of the DC Metro area at the very moment...but there is absolutely NO WAY it can look like this:

Weird

I was looking for a good pic for the website, so I typed "rant" into Google...this pic came up...weird...

Consultant Speak - How We Talk on a Daily Basis

This is how we talk in the world of consulting. It makes me ill. Who in their right mind would talk like this?? As I think of more items, we'll come out with new lists...

• Low Hanging Fruit
• Touch Base
• Thinking Outside of the Box
• Ramp Up
• Strategize
• Reengineer
• Mission-Critical
• Holistic
• Value-added
• Enterprise-wide
• Transformation
• Framework
• Organizational DNA
• Lean Six Sigma
• Master Black Belt
• Slick Sheets
  

Dumb People at Whole Foods

With the start of the new year, I am pretty much down on life in general. While I may genuinely be bummed out from time to time, I usually end up hopping out of the dumps and just end up getting bitter at the people and things around me. Yesterday was a day where my cup runneth over and left me with a salty taste at how utterly slow and useless people are sometimes.

I ended up waltzing on down to Whole Foods in search of some food for last night and the rest of the week. Almost immediately it hit me that people are fairly stupid. The parking lot is always a mess there. Its too small for the crowd of people they get, no doubt. But the idiots that are driving (DC Drivers...soon to be another rant...stay tuned) are lacking common sense. The line to pull in to the lot is 10 cars deep. Call me crazy, but if I'm waiting in a line of traffic, stopped to get into a silly parking lot...and there is a parking garage directly across the street from said Whole Foods parking lot...I'd hop my ass right into the garage. But, since I live across the street, I'm walking anyways.

Now comes the fun part…actually maneuvering inside the store…what the hell is it with people at Whole Foods and the desire to stop all movement the second you set foot in the store? I mean, ok...get your bearings...but MOVE YOUR ASS! There are actually people waiting to get inside while you just stand there like a lost child in a shopping mall.

After you actually get inside for the shopping, the Clarendon Whole Foods is actually quite nice. Lots of nice things to choose from…all overpriced and very unnecessary for everyday sustenance. I pick up some gnocchi to start…no problem. They actually had the regular potato gnocchi in stock so I was very happy to see this. Off I went to pick up some chicken to grill on my silly new Foreman Grill and mix in with my gnocchi…(yeah, Hulk Hogan was a genius to pass on that idea…George Foreman’s only made what, a bazillion dollars on that thing?) So I’m there waiting for people to make their choices of the pre-packaged meats…and waiting…and waiting. People…you have a fairly simple choice here. Chicken, Pork, Lamb, Beef…maybe some Venison or Buffalo…there are different cuts, you pick up a package…maybe choose between one or two and move along. What the hell is the point or productive reason to stand there and do absolutely nothing whilst 2-3 people wait for you to make up your mind about a meat you most likely already expected to buy before you walked into the store??

It is rather late and I don’t feel like really making anything…planning on saving my food purchases for later in the week anyways, so I move along to the hot bar for a quick meal tonight. Pretty simple concept, you pick your food, plop it in your container, and move along. Nope…again…another slow poke doing God knows what with his food selection…Ugh! I start to fill my container and it strikes me as silly that for a section with items priced on solely on weight, there is no actual scale to check how much you actually have. Weird…I don’t know…maybe this would be something people might find useful.

I go to checkout, which moves quickly ever since they finished remodeling and again am faced with the question I get every time without fail…”Oh this is a new bag?” No, I bought the bag 6 months ago when I paid $30 for it (with the proceeds going to feed hungry children). Why do you have to ask me every single time I shop here, probably 4-5 times a week, if I’m buying a new bag? I don’t even see where you can buy the bags before getting past the counter anyways…so is it really necessary to ask? I mean I don’t really care that much…just makes me shake my head that it happens every time. I am then truly amazed to find out I’ve filled my hot bar container with exactly 1.00 lbs of food. I think this might be some sort of record. My shopping experience is complete.

Point of the Story, you ask? There really isn’t one…just don’t drive to Whole Foods or plan on stepping up to make a purchase until you actually know what you want…have some respect for those that have actually shopped before.