Next Stop… Ballston

So I’m in a meeting today and we start discussing a workshop that is going to be held at some office right off the Ballston metro stop. OK, that’s fine. Then this guy I work with takes over and hands out the directions to the office building and begins to explain where it is. I read over the directions he handed out and immediately get annoyed at him for giving out stupid ass directions. This is what his directions said:

“Metrorail – Orange Line

Travel to Ballston-MU on the Orange Line (towards Vienna-Fairfax not New Carrollton)

If you travel on a different Metro Line, go to Metro Center, (bottom level) and get on the Orange Line to Vienna.”

There was more after this – the direction to the office blah blah blah – but those don’t matter. What pissed me off is the parts above.

Let me break it down line by line:

“Metrorail – Orange Line”

OK this line isn’t too bad, but we’re not idiots. We CAN read, and we know what color orange is. You didn’t need to color code the word. Thanks.

“Travel to Ballston-MU on the Orange Line (towards Vienna-Fairfax not New Carrollton)”

Travel to Ballston is fine. Orange Line is fine (except for the damn color coding again). Towards Vienna… uh… what if I’m coming from West Falls Church? Dunn Loring? Do I still go towards Vienna?

I realize that most everyone coming to this workshop lives in or around DC and knows their way around the Metro system. They’re not the people I’m worried about. It’s the few people that are coming from different parts of the country for this. And it wouldn’t be such a big deal, except for the fact that he really stressed the “not New Carrollton” (bold and italics).

OK, so I travel in the morning of the workshop. Land in Dulles, take the Washington Flyer to West Falls Church, and head towards Vienna. Um. End of the line, no Ballston along the way. Yeah, good directions. Idiot.

“If you travel on a different Metro Line, go to Metro Center, (bottom level) and get on the Orange Line to Vienna.”

I live in Crystal City and therefore will be riding the Blue Line and transferring at Rosslyn. But if I were to follow his directions I would have to ride all the way back to Metro Center and then out on the Orange Line.

What if I was coming in on the Yellow Line? Green Line? What the hell, neither of these go to Metro Center. Now I’m lost. If you’re going to give directions, either give simple ones:

“Take the Orange Line to Ballston. Walk to building blah blah blah.”

Or give detailed ones, from each line, at different points on the line. Don’t do this half very specific “(towards Vienna-Fairfax not New Carrollton)” shit and half leaving out ways to get there from 2 lines. Especially when the information you give is wrong. Holy shit you’re stupid.

-DCR